


Nostalgia (remember me in death)

by AnotherWeirdoHere



Series: Recollection [1]
Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Captain Marvel (2019), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Matter of Life and Death, Mentions of Myth & Folklore, Oof this one is SAD, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Personification of Death, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, You're gonna hate me, mentions of comic characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 11:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19425385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherWeirdoHere/pseuds/AnotherWeirdoHere
Summary: nos·tal·gia/näˈstaljə,nəˈstaljə/Learn to pronouncenouna sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations."I was overcome with acute nostalgia for my days in college"synonyms:	wistfulness, longing/yearning/pining for the past, regret, regretfulness, reminiscence, remembrance, recollection, homesickness, sentimentality"there is a nostalgia for traditional values"something done or presented in order to evoke feelings of nostalgia."an evening of TV nostalgia"





	Nostalgia (remember me in death)

The stones felt - _comfortable_? Yes, comfortable. They fit against the back of Tony's hand like they belonged there. He had felt the power creeping up his hand, and the words _home, safety, **protection**_ , had whispered in his mind. " _We've got them_." Millions of tiny little voices warped into one had called to him, a mumble in his ear loud enough to make him want to turn. If he focused, he might've heard Natasha, Gamora, the people that had been sacrificed to get the stones. " _We've got them_." 

"I am... Inevitable." Thanos snapped, an empty thunk resounded through the battlefield. His face contorted in confusion, turning behind him when he heard the armor moving. His eyes widened in horror as he saw what lay before him.

The stones grant partial omnipotence, Tony observes, as his fingers snap. He see them all. Everyone. He sees Loki, who had managed to escape long ago. He sees Steve, Thor, Clint, and Bruce. He sees Peter - _poor, poor Peter_ \- and May, which is surprising. Happy's there too, with May and Peter. Rhodey and Pepper, Carol and... Maria was her name, right? Thor's told him about Brunnhilde - or rather - Valkyrie. Tony... remembers. He remembers them and can't help his heart bursting, tearing itself to shreds when he makes the connection. The stones were split apart because all they know is death. There's no happy endings to have here. And when it's all said and done, he'll still be _gone_ and he knows it'll hurt. He's not completely oblivious, he knows they care about him to a degree. Enough for his death, his passing, his _leaving_ to mean _something_ in the world. He knows he's important. 

When he lays against the rubble, a part of it pokes him in the back incessantly. He doesn't care. Half his body is _burning_ while the other is _freezing_. Rhodey's the first to him. Tony remembers their days at MIT, the late night binges, the barf-shoes at the parties, the good times. Back when life was - _simpler_. Peter's the next after Rhodey, and he's crying on Tony immediately. Tony can't move, can't comfort his kid when he needs him, and it breaks his heart more, but Rhodey pulls Peter away and holds him when Tony couldn't. Pepper approaches him, placing her hand over the reactor. He managed to move his arm enough to place his hand over her's. " _Hey, Pep_." His voice is barely there, sounding more like wind than anything else. She smiled at him, telling him they would be okay, reassuring him. Her smile was cracked and rickety, her face threatening to fall at just the tiniest thing. He knew he wouldn't be able to handle her finally breaking... so he turned away. He finally drifted. 

As he moved on, he could hear them. 

They sobbed. They mourned. And as he walked into the light, met by a man with a white beard and eyepatch, he mourned. Knowing people for over 30 years - even knowing people for five minutes - takes a toll when you pass. As he met with the man - " _My son has told me about you. Call me Odin._ " - he could feel his heart growing heavy. As it settled, he couldn't stop himself from getting choked up as he was lead into a great hall. " _It is okay. I know the memories hurt_."

He walked past the table, past the three men offering him a place and food, past the woman who looked jarringly like Thor. Walked past the other one who looked like Loki. There was a balcony at the end of the hall, with a white and gold coloring. The rail was black, jarringly different, with intricate swirls and designs melded into the metal. He braced his hands against it, breathing heavily as it all came back to him in one fell swoop. He was _dead_ and they were _hurting_ and _he caused that pain_. He let out a weak sob as he _felt_ and _experienced_. His mind was becoming clouded, his chest getting tighter and tighter until he couldn't breathe until he felt a hand on his back. A delicate touch, yet pressed enough into his back to feel her, Tony knew who it was immediately. "Nat." He breathed out, turning to her. His smile was sad, and he let out a wet chuckle at her. She smiled back at him, some tears falling down her face. "Hey doofus." She said as she pulled him into a hug. His face went into her neck as he held her tightly, sobbing into her neck. She reached up and played with his hair, crying with him. 

"You weren't supposed to die." She replied as he hiccuped. "You neither, buttface." He retorted, the two chuckling at the comment. "They're not going to be okay." Natasha blurted. Tony tightened his hold. "Eventually they will."

~

The funeral was nice. Bruce and Clint had managed to track down some red room connections - _Yelena Belova, another Black Widow and... Niko Constantin? He says he's the Wolf Spider._ \- while Steve and Thor tracked down Tony's connections to Tennessee, Brooklyn, New Jersey, and Gulmira - _He mentored them while we were gone. What were we doing? Running. Running while he changed the world._

As no one predicted... Steve couldn't handle it. He couldn't handle the world without them, couldn't handle the future without the futurist to guide him. He left Bucky with Sam because he knew they'd help each other more than he ever could. He knew Wanda would be in good hands, that the others could live on with each other. 

Thor couldn't handle it either, deciding to go to space with the Guardians. It was easier for him anyway, among the stars. Loki wasn't alive (that he knew of) and Brunnhilde knew his own people better than he did at this point. They were in good hands.

Clint went back to the farm with his family. Lila, Cooper, and Nathaniel - _Nathaniel Pietro Barton_ \- needed him. Lila was becoming the new Hawkeye, something Tony helped set up when Clint hadn't been eligible for house arrest yet. The bow - _Not yet, Lila. Gotta wait 'til you're a bit bigger_. - Tony had made her was sitting under his bed, and Clint didn't have the stability to look at it yet. 

Bruce was left behind. He had Rhodey when he was there, he had Carol when she was there, but no one else... stayed. Bucky and Sam did, but the missions are one right after the other, and Bruce doesn't know them. But that Peter kid. He was good. He liked Bruce and Hulk without needing to pick one. Harley and Riri and Kamala and Sam... They were good too. Sooner rather than later Bruce's life had become more stable. He found Betty again. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

Two months after their deaths - at the 12th stroke for midnight, they each looked to the stars from their respective locations. The other Guardians and Avengers didn't understand the meaning behind it. 

" _What's up with you and stars man? Is it an Asgardian thing-_ " Quill had asked. Thor turned his head to look at him momentarily then looked back. He shook his head subtly, flashes of Natasha and Tony in his mind. Their smiles, their laughs, their everything- and Thor smiled. A tiny little thing, that smile. His eyes squinted slightly, creating wrinkles his mother would've fretted about. " _Nay._ "

" _Then why_?" Mantis asked. Thor took a moment. He remembered the fourth of July's the team had spent together, and in the five-year span, they had always met up. They had always spent the holidays together. " _They loved the stars. Even through the bad experiences... they never stopped looking_." 

And with bated breaths and small hopes, they wondered if Tony and Natasha stared back. They could never truly let go - like the reliable narrator said earlier - no matter how long a person is in your life, they make an impact. But they knew Tony and Natasha were okay among the stars they desperately loved. And they only asked one thing of the universe - the six of them. _Protect them better than we could_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Em (marrymebucky) for sending a really sad edit in the groupchat. It inspired me to make this, mwah!


End file.
